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Marriage…Hmm, I’m So Confused !X?!

February 6, 2012

I often see clients that are soon to be married and they want to discuss their finances and what it will be like filing their tax returns together. They are quite often shocked at how that would look and for a moment there is a hesitancy in their eyes. I see it, but let it pass without comment. I have always thought that single is the better way to go, certainly it can be the more creative. As we talk about their life together  and why they are getting married they always let me know more than I sometimes would want to know; but the tax man is like the priest in that we hear all the details. I’m reminded of an article I read a month back in Parenting magazine called ‘Marriage Myths to Ditch.’ I liked it so much that I started sharing it with my soon to be married clients to relieve the stress of tax talk.

  • MYTH: Planned sex is boooooring TRUTH: You forget that exciting courtship was planned. It’s just that the planning was fueled by the neurochemical trance of falling in love, so it was a no brainer to save Friday night for your sweetie instead of staying late at the office. Sex should be planned – but within that block of time, you can be as spontaneous and inventive as you like.
  • MYTH: If you were only organized you’d have a clean house, healthy dinners, angelic kids and hot sex. TRUTH: True balance comes when you learn to say no to having it all, at least at the same time. If you try to straighten the house every day, and your husband likes to chill in front of the TV each evening, and you have a baby (or a couple of kids with busy schedules), something has to give. Decide as a couple what’s most important. When it comes to scheduling, less is often more.
  • MYTH:You have the power to make everything turn out the way you want, and if things don’t someone is to blame. TRUTH: Not everything is within your control. Even the best-laid plans may fall through, and it’s nobody’s fault. It is easy to lay blame, but whatever it is that’s interfering with your annual block party or long-awaited day at the beach – the best response is compassion for the person in the bind and a clear understanding of the forces at work. In the case of the husband whose job interferes  with family life, have a discussion why he feels he can’t set limits. Broaching a conversation with concern and empathy instead of accusation will help you avoid placing unfair blame.
  • MYTH: The quality of couple time is more important than the quantity. TRUTH: They are both important and once can’t sub for the other. It is a nice idea to think that a monthly wine-and roses night out will jeep you connected for the next four weeks, but couples also benefit from extended time in each others presences, even if they are not doing anything.

The myth about taxes is that it is scary. Okay maybe it is not a myth to you, but to us it is the opposite of scary as we love tax work and talk the tax. Let us know how we can help you. At GAI (www.gunwel.com) we want to help with everything you have going on financially…and for those you about to get married we can show you how that looks for you on paper.Give us a call at 615-730-9444 or visit our website at www.gunwel.com. See you soon!

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2012 8:05 am

    Thank you so much for this post.I found lots of interesting information here.

  2. February 9, 2012 12:47 am

    Thank you so much for this post.I found lots of interesting information here. And thanks for sharing it’s really wonderful and useful =)))

  3. March 28, 2012 10:09 am

    This is my first time comment at your blog.Good recommended website

  4. April 9, 2012 8:12 pm

    great) liked everything very much) keep it up and dont stop)

  5. April 9, 2012 8:57 pm

    NICe thing!

  6. April 13, 2012 9:04 pm

    Very nice!

  7. July 10, 2012 7:43 pm

    Best sort of post!

  8. July 11, 2012 2:35 pm

    Hello my friend! I want to say that this article is awesome, nice written and include almost all vital info. I would like to see more posts like this.

  9. July 16, 2012 1:46 pm

    J’ai trouvé votre message d’une telle information instructive et utile sur ce poste, merci pour le partage de la poste.

  10. August 23, 2012 6:43 am

    E quanto tempo tem que aconteceu na educação? A não ser que os pais tomaram essa iniciativa não tem necessariamente aconteceu na maioria das escolas e isso é realmente triste.

  11. August 25, 2012 9:29 am

    Amei tanto dessas idéias e quer experimentá-los para meus filhos. Incrível.

  12. April 16, 2013 6:06 am

    This info is very useful for me! Thanks for sharing.

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